


even when i'm gone

by transjackianto



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Season/Series 12, Post-Series 03: Children of Earth (Torchwood), Pre-Series 03: Children of Earth (Torchwood)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transjackianto/pseuds/transjackianto
Summary: Ianto Jones finally meets the Doctor in person who has a request for him. The Doctor presents Jack with a gift far into the future.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 18
Kudos: 98





	even when i'm gone

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this has been on my mind for awhile. This is unbeta'd. This is really sad and I blame a scene from CW's The Flash that I watched MANY years ago.
> 
> Title from the song: Even When I'm Gone by Quietdrive. I recommend listening while reading :P

On the steps of the basin of Road Dahl Plass, Ianto Jones is sitting eating his lunch.

It is an ordinary day in Spring. It isn’t too hot that he would be sweating in his three-piece suit and coat, but it isn’t miserable enough to be raining. The breeze coming in off the Bristol Channel helps to cool him down. He finally has some peace and quiet away from another argument that had started between his boss-slash-friend-slash-lover-slash-boyfriend and his best friend. Ianto hadn’t a clue what it was about this time, but all they seem to be doing lately is shout at each other and then stew in opposite corners of the Hub. He is tired of playing mediator. He just needs a quiet half-an-hour to himself.

Ianto has just finished munching on his egg and cress sandwich and is in the middle of opening his packet of crisps when he hears it. 

The unmistakable sound that Ianto heard over the CCTV the day Jack disappeared for three months. The sound of an alien ship arriving. The sound of the TARDIS materialising into existence behind him.

He really hopes the Doctor isn’t here to whisk Jack away. Not now.

He doesn’t hear the sound of a door being closed so he guesses that the Doctor has parked the TARDIS away from prying eyes. He would have thought that he had maybe imagined the sound of the TARDIS but then he hears footsteps walking up behind him.

A pair of brown boots catch the corner of his eye.

“Hey, Ianto, do you have a second?” A Northern-accented feminine voice speaks from above him.

Ianto blinks rapidly as his brain tries to comprehend a feminine voice with someone who knows his name. His gaze travels up from the bottom of the outfit of the person next to him. The brown ankle boots, the blue three-quarter length trousers, the yellow braces holding them up, the darker blue t-shirt with a rainbow going across it, the light blue trench coat with matching rainbow on the stitching… only the Doctor could wear something as  _ unique _ as that. Ianto has seen many outfits of the Doctor’s over the years having seen photos in the Torchwood archives and one thing that their many faces always seem to have in common, is an eccentric wardrobe. 

His eyes meet warm brown eyes in a kind face.

“Doctor?” He has to be sure before he makes an arse of himself.

The stranger nods her head.  _ The Doctor _ , he corrects himself. 

“Jack’s just down in the Hub if you need him, I can always contact him.” He moves to grab his phone from his pocket but the Doctor shaking her head quickly stops him.

“Actually, I came here to talk to you.”

Ianto stares at her for a moment before shaking his head. “Me? What do you need from me?”

The Doctor bites her lip as she stares across at the water tower on the other side of the basin. “Would you mind coming with me? I’d rather not talk out in the open.”

Ianto thinks of the many stories that Jack has told them all across the years. Of the Doctor coming to save the day and how they were a benevolent alien who had adopted Earth as their own, but who could have a fierce protective streak. He knows that Jack mainly told them this because of Torchwood’s beginnings and how he didn’t want the team to treat the Doctor badly if they were ever to arrive. He also knows that Jack trusts this person implicitly. He also  _ also _ knows that the Doctor did really try to save the day at Canary Wharf and he should give her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay.”

He stands up and follows her towards what he knows is a CCTV blackspot. This is where Ianto first catches a glimpse of the TARDIS in real life. The ship looks different from what Ianto remembers, a slightly different blue, a St John’s Ambulance logo… but the records have always been inconsistent when it comes to the Doctor’s ship, so he doesn’t think about it much.

The Doctor’s face lights up with a huge smile as she turns the key and enters the TARDIS, holding the door open. “Please, come in.”

Ianto has to take a deep breath to steel himself. He is about to step into an alien ship. An alien ship that is sentient if Jack is to be believed. He has to stamp down on his reaction to laugh giddily. He has read enough in the archives and heard enough from Jack that he knows the ship is bigger on the inside, and beautiful but nothing can prepare him for the inside.

He takes a step inside and stares around in awe. The room is darkened.  _ Mood lighting _ , he thinks trying not to laugh. On a raised platform, is what reminds him of spider legs coming out of the floor that are made out of glowing yellow crystals, surrounding a centre console. The walls are made out of some kind of glowing blue glass hexagons that reflect the blue and yellow light of the various machinery. It’s beautiful. “Wow,” he whispers in awe. “You’re beautiful.”

The Doctor comes up to stand beside him as Ianto gently runs a hand across the ‘spider legs’, feeling a gentle hum in the back of his head. “She is, isn’t she?”

Ianto looks around to stare at the Doctor. There is a soft look on her face as she gazes at the centre console. The Doctor is actually kind of beautiful in her own way. Ianto almost understands why Jack would leave the team for this. The Doctor reminds Ianto of Jack in the way that you feel pulled into their gravity and cannot look away. In the way that they seem so much larger than life. In the way that they gaze at alien machinery with awe. In the way that they try to hide a deep sadness behind a beautiful smile, he thinks, as the Doctor turns her head to look into his eyes again. Yes, he can understand how someone can fall for someone like the Doctor. 

He clears his throat gently, not wanting to break the moment, but the fact that the Doctor had gone to lengths to try and evade Jack, he is guessing that the Doctor is on a tight schedule and probably isn’t supposed to be here. “What do you need from me, Doctor?”

The Doctor’s smile drops a little as she looks into his eyes. She looks like she is trying to memorise his face… She shakes her head, before beaming at him again. “Right,” she starts, bringing her hands together in a clap. “I was thinking of doing something for Jack’s birthday.”

Ianto raises an eyebrow at her, leaning up against the glowing pillar behind him. “I… don’t even know when that is.” Why would she drag me in here to do something for Jack’s birthday?

“Oh, Captain Jack likes to be a mysterious one, doesn’t he?” Her tone is fond as she starts laughing. “I just thought it would be a nice gift for him. I wanna make a video montage for him, just everybody in his life, and how him being in your life has made it better.”

The welshman pauses as he thinks it over. “That sounds great.” Why is she asking to do this now? “Doctor, why are we doing this here?”

“No time like the present, you know?” The Doctor’s smile falters again, before it returns bigger. “I don’t want Old Captain Jack to see us making it.”

“Sure.” Ianto stares at the Doctor, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

“Alright, great. Just, um… speak from the heart. Talk as if… Talk as if it was the last thing you could ever say to him. Okay?”

Ianto has a bad feeling about this.  _ Talk as if it was the last thing you could ever say to him? _ Ianto knows that the lifespan of a Torchwood agent is really small. He has worked with Torchwood for four and a half years. That’s a long time. Is something going to happen to him? Is this going to be for something after he is dead?

\---

“It’s been 1000 years already, can you believe that?”

Jack Harkness is sat on the raised stairs across the platform from the centre console of the TARDIS staring down at his hands. 

The Doctor places her hand on Jack’s thigh from where she is sitting next to him. “That’s the thing, Jack, everything keeps moving forward.” She squeezes his thigh gently, her voice even softer. “Question is, when will you?”

“I don’t know, Doctor.” Jack knows that he sounds defeated. Ianto’s dying wish was to be remembered for 1000 years. Jack doesn’t know how he can ever forget him. Ianto never realised the impact that he had on Jack’s life. Ianto was the first non-toxic relationship that Jack had ever had.  _ Ianto Jones, the man who loves monsters _ . Ianto knew about the horrors of his past and loved him anyway. Ianto knew that he was immortal and didn’t care. Well, he probably cared. But he only ever spoke about how it would impact Jack having to watch Ianto die.  _ You have no idea what it felt like coming back to life and knowing the world was empty, ‘cause you’d gone. _ God, he loved Ianto Jones so much.  _ Ianto, don’t you understand? All the people I’ve lost. The only one I wanted to see was you. _ Oh, he doesn’t think that he will forget Ianto Jones for a long, long time.

“Well, um, I found something that I think might help,” the Doctor starts.

She knows that Jack used to have a little tin that he placed momentos of previous lovers and people that he cared about over the years and wanted to remember. But it either got blown up with the Hub or it went missing from Ianto’s flat after the armed forces went tearing through it trying to find Ianto after they all ran away.

The Doctor holds out a piece of glass to Jack. “Take a look. I think it might help.”

Jack looks down at the screen, because he can see that it is a little computer screen now. He hasn’t seen one of these in years. He swipes the screen to bring it alive and a little message box pops up with the words ‘Play Message’ and the options to press ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. Jack sucks in a deep breath before pressing ‘Yes’.

That breath leaves his lungs again as he sees the familiar face of Ianto Jones come up on the screen. There were some things that had dulled in his memory with time, but some things are exactly as he remembers. Were his eyes really that blue? Was his nose really that pert and cute? Did his eyes always sparkle so much when he spoke of Jack? His thoughts cut out as he watches Ianto begin to talk.

_ “What does Jack Harkness mean to me?” Ianto’s mouth curls into that happy smile he reserves just for Jack. _

**_Oh, those beautiful Welsh vowels. How he had missed those._ **

_ “Well, you know, a lot of times I have a hard time figuring out what to say to people, but… when it comes to you, Jack, I don’t.” _

**_Not when I can’t hear you, anyway._ **

_ “Because with you, everything that used to feel tough... just doesn’t anymore.” _

**_Same, Ianto._ **

_ “It’s one of the things I love about you.” Ianto’s eyes scrunch up as he smiles wider. _

Jack feels his heart drop into his stomach. The only times they ever really said ‘I love you’ and meant it was during the House of the Dead and it is one of his biggest regrets that he didn’t tell him more often.

_ His smile softens again as his tone turns a bit more firm. “You don’t need me.”  _

**_I do need you._ **

_ Ianto’s voice becomes gentle once again. “You can handle anything on your own because you’re fearless and independent and loving and kind.” _

**_I don’t want to handle things without you. You always knew me better than I knew myself. You always saw the best in me, and I miss that so much._ **

_ “You are, without question, the best decision I ever made, Jack Harkness.” _

Jack hadn't realised that he had started crying until he felt his eyes blur over. He blinks rapidly as he tries to clear them so he doesn’t miss a second of Ianto talking. He absently feels the Doctor idly gripping his spare hand in both of her own.

_ “And, I’ve never thanked you for choosing to be with me, because each day with you is a gift, so thank you.” _

**_I can never thank you enough for choosing to be with me, either. You got me through that Year. I am so glad that you said yes to that date. I wish we had more time. I wish we didn’t spend so much of our time together playing silly games over what we were to each other._ **

_ “You deserve the world, Jack.” _

**_So did you. I wish I could have taken you to see the stars, Ianto. You would have loved it.You would have thrived._ **

_ “You deserve to be happy the rest of your life and no-one wants that more for you than me.” _

**_I_ ** **wish** **_I could be happy for the rest of my life._ **

_ “Happy Birthday, Jack. I love you.” _

Ianto stares into the screen with a loving smile before squeezing his eyes shut.

The screen prompts Jack if he wants to play the video again.

“I love you, too,” Jack’s voice is little above a whisper.

Later on the Doctor will explain to Jack that she went back in time to collect his tin of memories. Later on she will tell the tale of meeting Ianto Jones in person and getting him to record a ‘birthday message’. Later on she will hold Jack as he cries himself to sleep. Later on she will curse her past self for not doing anything to ease Jack’s suffering. Later on she will make a vow to make sure that Jack will never suffer at the hands of the Doctor again, not if she can help it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you enjoyed that, please don't kill me <.<


End file.
